You're Wondering Why I'm Leaving
by rooster dawn
Summary: After the Admiral reduces Major MacKenzie’s role at JAG, she decides to leave.


**You're Wondering Why I'm Leaving**

_rooster dawn_

_Mac/others_

_Spoiler: Early third season after Mac begins dating Dalton._

_Summary: After the Admiral reduces Major MacKenzie's role at JAG, she decides to leave._

_Disclaimers: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. _

_Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed._

22 Oct 1997

Mac's office

Mac was sitting in her office in a semi dream state. She was thinking about the last several weeks. She and Harm had recently gotten back from investigating a missing tomcat and it's pilot.

It had been a nice week that they had spent together. They had been able to banter back and forth beautifully. Something she really loved doing with him. It was like their own little courtship dance they did, seeing who could get the best of the other.

They almost had a wonderful Hallmark moment as they were talking about what Harm had been expecting when they first met. He had told her he was apprehensive when he heard he was getting a Marine Corp Major for a partner.

He had pictured a gruff looking, tattooed, arm wrestling jarhead. Then he smiled at her. God did she love that smile. Every time he smiled at her like that all she could do was return an equally beautiful brilliant smile of her own. Why couldn't he just tell her he loved her?

He was seeing Annie now, but did he really want to deal with her neuroses? In a way she felt sorry for Annie. She had lost her husband last year in a tragic plane crash. Was she really ready to be dating again, with someone like Harm who dreams about flying?

It was something she always feared whenever some Cag Harm knew aboard a ship they were on would allow him to go flying in a tomcat. While she love seeing him so happy whenever he got the chance, she still feared that something would happen.

And then there was Josh, Annie's son. He was the second coming of Harm. Harm had lost his father at a young age too. Harm had resented his stepfather because he wasn't a pilot. Did Harm think he could do something that Frank couldn't do?

Anyway she had replied to him that she did liked to arm wrestle, she did have tattoo, and even though she didn't like the term she was a jarhead. Somehow Harm got excited when she mentioned that she had a tattoo.

He began checking her out top to bottom. She felt like a schoolgirl being noticed by the starting quarterback on the football team. No wonder why she loved this man. He always found a way to surprise her and make her feel so good.

Harm also asked her what was important to her. She had tried to imply to him, that he was when she said.

"A good man, a good career, and lots and lots of comfortable shoes. Well two out of three is not bad."

He had then asked her if that was where Dalton came in. She had to laugh when she replied

"Have you seen the size of that man's feet? They're huge."

It felt so good to be that way with him. She could be herself when she was with him. She didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't.

But for some reason things seem to change once they got back to JAG. Not with Harm per se but with the Admiral. For some unknown reason her workload suddenly seem to change. She couldn't understand why.

She hadn't heard any complaints about her work. But somehow her workload now was comprised of doing menial grunt work usually assigned to the junior officers who were learning the ropes. What was going on? Why was the Admiral mad at her?

She saw Harm walking back to his office. He had just come back from the Admiral's office. He had the look he always had when he got a big case. She got up and hurried over to his office.

"What's going on Harm? You look like you have big case." asked Mac.

"I do, there was a collision between a helicopter and an unknown aircraft on a Marine base outside Fallon." replied Harm.

"Was anybody hurt?" asked Mac.

"Only the pilot was killed. Everyone else came out okay." replied Harm.

"Did the Admiral say anything about me going along with you? The accident did happen on a Marine base. A marine should be going along to investigate." wondered Mac.

"Sorry Mac, but no, he told me to take Bud." replied Harm.

"What's going on Harm? This is a case I should be on." asked Mac a bit perturbed.

"I don't know Mac." replied Harm.

"Something has to be going on. The Admiral has been giving me only grunt work usually reserved for junior officers. I haven't had a major case assigned to me in three weeks." moaned Mac.

"I don't know Mac. Maybe it has something to do with you seeing Dalton Lowne. He is after all a partner in one of the largest law firms in Washington." suggested Harm.

He was as worried as all the others were in JAG. He thought it was possible that Mac could be leaving JAG soon to join Lowne in private practice. He didn't like the idea of Mac leaving.

She was the most important person in his life. She made life worth living and coming to work for. She challenged him to be better. He was a much better person when he was with her.

5 Nov 1997

Mac's office

Two weeks later Mac walked into her office and slammed the door. She was steaming mad. She had just come back from their weekly staff meeting and once again she hadn't gotten a major case or even a decent normal one.

She had had enough. If it wasn't obvious before it was now, the Admiral didn't want her anymore. She obviously didn't measure up if she ever did. The hell with him thought Mac.

If he doesn't want me anymore then I may as well resign my commission. I can always go to work for Dalton's firm. Dalton told me I would be a good addition to their firm.

She closed the blinds to her office and cried softly for the next twenty minutes. Once again in her life she found herself not being wanted. Her mother didn't want her, she ran away.

Her father didn't want her, he drank himself into an abusive stupor instead of loving her. Harm didn't want her, why else wouldn't he fight for her instead of letting her date Dalton. And now the Admiral didn't want her at JAG.

He was too ashamed to tell her she wasn't good enough. He would just keep demeaning her in front of everyone until she left. Well if that was what he wanted then she would give him what he wanted, she would turn in her resignation.

She spent the next hour typing it up. She wanted it to look as professionally as possible. She printed out three copies in her office. Everything has to be in triplicate you know thought Mac to herself.

Meanwhile Harm was in his office. He had wanted to go in and talk to Mac after the meeting, but when she slammed her door and closed the blinds he knew she was too upset and didn't want to be disturbed.

He would wait awhile. He knew she needed some time and space to allow herself to calm down before he would be able to go in and talk to her. Harm also knew things were coming to a head and soon it would explode.

He didn't know what the Admiral was thinking about. If the Admiral wanted to lose Mac to Dalton's firm, he was certainly going about it the right way and succeeding. He knew his partner was a very proud individual.

If things continued on as they were going they certainly were going to lose her. Mac was only going to put up with just so much before she said the hell with it.

Harm knew he had to talk to her. He had to calm her down and prevent her from doing something foolish like resigning her commission. Harm didn't want to see her go. She was the best partner he had ever had and he was in love with her too.

Maybe he could convince her to go with him to talk to the Admiral. To find out what was going on, what his concerns were. The only thing he knew for sure right now was he didn't want to lose her.

He walked out of his office and walked over to hers. He noticed that the door was open as he approached. He looked inside to see if she was there, but she wasn't.

He walked over to Bud desk to ask him "Have you seen Major MacKenzie, Bud?"

Bud, who also was concerned, felt that Mac was going to leave. Not that he could blame her. Afterall the Admiral wasn't exactly showing much confidence in her the last month or so.

He was assigning her work usually given to first year lawyers. He also didn't want to see her leave because it was she that had gotten Harriet and him together.

"Yes Sir, she said something about going to an early lunch." Bud replied regrettably.

Damm thought Harm. I need to talk to her. I have to keep her from doing something she'll regret.

"Thanks Bud. When she comes back, let me know okay." Harm went back to his office to work on some of his cases while he waited for her to return. Please Sarah, don't do anything until I talk with you.

Mac didn't return until after Harm was back in court. She busied herself in her office for awhile straightening out all her paperwork. She then got a box from the supply room to pack up all her personal items.

When she was done she closed up the box so no one could see what was in it. She then went outside with it and put the box in her jeep. She wanted to be able to make a quick escape after she handed the Admiral her resignation papers.

She didn't want to be around to talk to anyone after seeing the Admiral. She waited until 1600 hours before placing her resignation papers in a folder to take to the Admiral.

She was dreading this moment, but what else could she do. The Admiral didn't want her anymore. Dalton's firm did want her. There wasn't much sense staying around a place where she wasn't wanted. She picked up the folder and headed out the door to the Admiral's office.

Mac made the long walk to the Admiral's Office. She stopped at Tyner's desk.

"Is the Admiral in? I need to talk to him." asked Mac.

"One moment Ma'am, let me check." replied Tyner.

He buzzed the Admiral to let him know Major MacKenzie needed to see him.

"Sir, Major MacKenzie is here to see you Sir." reported Tyner.

"Send her in Tyner." ordered the Admiral.

Mac entered the Admiral's office and stood at attention in front of his desk.

"At Ease. What can I do for you Major?" asked the Admiral.

Mac handed the Admiral the folder with her resignation papers. He took a look at them as she began.

"I have forty five days of leave on he books Sir. I have an offer to join a private law firm. I would like to take terminal leave Sir." Mac replied.

The Admiral shuddered to himself. He had been afraid of this. He didn't want her to leave, but didn't know what he could do.

"I suspected something like this was going on." replied the Admiral.

"What do you mean Sir?" asked Mac.

"You have been seen a lot with Dalton Lowne, a prominent partner at one of the best law firms in Washington. Kind of thought they might be trying to recruit you." replied the Admiral pensively.

"What does going out with Dalton Lowne a few times have to do with anything Sir? I don't understand. First you tell me I can't see Commander Rabb because I have to work with him.

Now you're telling me I can't see Dalton Lowne because he's a partner in a private law firm. What gives you the right to violate my privacy and tell me who I can and can't see!" spat Mac angrily.

"I have never said anything to you about who you can see. I would never take it upon myself to do that Major. I do respect your privacy." differed the Admiral.

"Apparently not from where I'm standing Sir. And if you respected my privacy as you say then why haven't I gotten a good case in six weeks? Why have you given me only work usually assigned to first year lawyer? demanded Mac.

"Are you too good for that kind of work Major?" responded the Admiral.

"Don't give me that bullshit Admiral! You know better than that. You have embarrassed me in front of my peers for the last six weeks. They all could see that you were displeased with me and wonder what I did." spat Mac angrily.

"I didn't think you were happy here Major. Like I said before you've been seen with Mr. Lowne. You would be an excellent addition to his law firm." replied the Admiral as he tried to cover his ass not realizing he was digging his own grave.

"So what you're trying to say to me is, Dalton Lowne couldn't possibly find me attractive enough to want to date me as a woman?" proposed Mac.

"No, I didn't say that Major. You are an attractive woman." replied the Admiral as the sweat started to form on his brow as he wondered how the conversation had gone in this direction.

"I don't understand Sir. You say one thing but your actions say something else. You say you haven't violated my privacy, but your actions today and what you're telling me right now is quite the opposite.

You're checking up with who comes here to take me out to lunch. You assume that he's recruiting me because god forbid I see anyone other than the great Commander Rabb, your protege,

who everyone here says I'm in love with including yourself, but whom you have forbidden me to see. But no, of course you're not violating my privacy." spat Mac who was getting even angrier.

"Major, I just thought you weren't happy here and were going to leave." explained the Admiral who knew he was wrong. He should have known he wouldn't have been able to stand up to an interrogation from Mac.

"Whatever gave you that idea? Did you ever hear me complain? I love this job. I love the adventure. I love working with Harm. I've learned so much working with him. I never even thought about leaving until you decided you didn't want me here anymore." spat Mac.

"That's not true Major. I want you here." argued the Admiral.

"Yeah, right! You have a funny way of showing it Sir. Most people I know that have wanted me haven't tried to push me away. I take that back, I know Harm probably wants me, but he won't do anything about it because you told him not to. Must be a squid thing." moaned Mac.

"Does that mean you will reconsider resigning Major?" asked the Admiral hopefully.

"No Sir, it does not. I still intend to resign my commission." replied Mac.

"But why Major?" asked the Admiral. "I thought we cleared up the misunderstanding?"

"What! You have got to be kidding me Sir! Nothing has been resolved here, Sir! You have not admitted to your misconduct of violating my privacy. You have not admitted to your error in judgment of whether I wanted to work here.

You have not admitted that you have embarrassed and disgraced me in front of my peers. What exactly do you think was resolved Sir?" replied Mac.

"You're right Major, I've mistaken the whole situation here. When do you want to start your terminal leave?" asked the Admiral resignedly.

"Tomorrow Sir. I have no stomach to stay here at JAG and under your command any longer then necessary." replied Mac.

"Very well Major. Consider it done. Can we at least get together as a group at McMurphy's to say goodbye to you?" pleaded the Admiral one last time hoping that one of her friends would be able to talk her out of resigning.

"No Sir. After being disgraced in front of them for the last six weeks I'm too ashamed to be seen in public with any of them." wailed Mac.

Meanwhile outside the Admiral's office Tyner was cringing. He could tell something horrible was going on inside and it wasn't pretty. What scared him the most was the Major was doing most of the yelling and it didn't sound like she was defending herself.

Harm walked up to Tyner. He had been told by Bud that Major MacKenzie had gone in to see the Admiral a half hour ago.

"What's going on Tyner?" asked Harm.

"I don't know for sure Sir. There has been a lot of yelling. I can't make out any of the conversation." replied a nervous Tyner.

"Who's winning?" smiled Harm.

He knew from past experience that you didn't want to be on the receiving end of a marine tirade. He guessed that Mac was laying into the Admiral pretty good expressing her displeasure with the Admiral's treatment of her the last few weeks.

"I believe Major MacKenzie is doing most of the talking Sir." replied Tyner.

"Well give me a buzz when they're through. I may need to do some damage control." replied Harm as he shook his head.

As Mac was getting ready to leave her office for the last time Harm knocked on her door.

"Where are you going Mac? It's a little early for you to be leaving." smile Harm.

"I'm going home Harm. I've just given the Admiral my letter of resignation." replied Mac with tears forming in her eyes.

She was going to miss her friends here at JAG, but most of all she was going to miss Harm. She had never been happier then when she was here with him.

"Why Mac? I'm sure if we had gone in to talk to the Admiral together we could have worked everything out." responded Harm regrettably.

At that moment he wanted to take her into his arms. He knew she had to be hurting pretty badly right now. It had to be killing her because it was killing him.

"I found out why the Admiral hasn't been giving me any cases Harm. He didn't think I was happy here. How could he ever believe that Harm? Working with you has been the most wonderful experience of my life. You're my best friend." wailed Mac as tears began to flow down her cheek now.

"Come here." replied Harm as he took her into his arms to console her.

She buried her head into his chest and sobbed. The tension in her body was beginning to lessen. She stayed that way until she felt her body relaxed.

Everyone in the bullpen wondered what was going on. Why was the Major crying. It couldn't be the Commander's fault. He wouldn't be consoling her if he had done something to upset her.

"Are you going to be okay Sarah?" asked Harm.

Mac's ears perked up when she heard Harm use her given name.

"Yeah, I think so. All I want to do now is go home and soak in a hot tub." replied Mac as she looked up into his eyes hoping for more.

"Do you want to come to my place later? I'll cook you a nice dinner. We could talk?" asked Harm as he reached up to wipe the tears from her face with his thumb.

"Okay, as long as it's not your famous Harm's meatless meatloaf. I don't think my stomach could take that right now." replied Mac with a small smile.

"I'll see you then at 2000 hours." smiled Harm.

_**The End**_

Ps : you didn't think she would have gone to Dalton did you?


End file.
